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Can “shaming people for their attitude” bring about true change?


The recent “Aunty” incidence that went viral!
 In a very recent episode a video on the social media went viral. The video that I am mentioning here is the one where a middle-aged woman popularly referred to as "auntyji" made a sad remark on a girl wearing a short dress. The comment though hasn’t been recorded exactly in her words in the video but she is alleged to have said, that for the short dress that the girl was wearing she deserves to get raped! The aftermath was obvious; the girl along with a few other friends who were accompanying her got in a heated argument with her. They repeatedly asked her to apologize but the lady did not, instead, she threatened to call the police which got the girls more violent who in response threatened her for the same. The argument was then joined by another lady, who is a mother, she was seen to boldly put her point across. She is seen supporting the girls in the video, where she says that she gives her daughters complete freedom of wearing any clothes of their choice, be it a bikini as well! Throughout the argument, the video of this episode was being shot which they said will go viral on the social media, and yes they have really succeeded in making it so.  

The after-effects
The lady received a lot of “Shames” as comments and has been I guess the most hated person on the social media in the last 48 hours! More posts that have been circulating after that video includes a picture where auntyji herself is seen wearing a dress and it has been questioned if that is ok? A lot of fake accounts with varied posts appeared by her name on Instagram, and some started blaming and abusing her daughter as well.  People have been endlessly blaming and shaming her, and the girls, joined by many others from their phones and laptops continued to ask her to apologize. The news as it's becoming older and older is getting changed in subtle amounts. In the latest post by the girl who was the victim, she has mentioned that the lady has publically apologized and she is glad that she could change at least one person’s point of view.  

Some good’s and bad’s from the video (Greens are good and Reds are bad)
·         It’s great how the girls displayed that courage to question the lady back when accused of wearing short clothes.
·         It is great how one of the girls from the group mentioned that clothes are not the criteria which decide rape, which can be seen by the countless examples of rape in the country. This indeed is both true and unfortunate.
·         It was terrible when while supporting the girls the other lady (who was a mother) mentioned that the girls had a body to flaunt so they were doing it by wearing dresses, while auntyji she said didn’t have a body to flaunt and thus couldn’t wear short dresses. Well I am sure you are aware that saying this crops up another issue called as body shaming. I am not sure how this sounds to you in the entire scene, but for me yes if someone’s fighting for the “right things” they shouldn’t go drastically wrong themselves by using other weapons like this. I can’t say how auntyji must have felt for this but I can vouch no lady would like to hear something like that.
·         It was terrible how auntyji was cornered alone with the many people surrounding her and recording her, creating the most inconvenient scene for talking, and discussing. She was obviously wrong to have made that remark but I am sure if we try seeing it psychologically, then the heat made things and her adamancy worst!

What do you my reader know about the entire scene?
The answer is simple you know as much as you saw in various portals, and so do I.
I am in no way supporting what auntyji said, the comment she made was disgraceful and unwelcoming. There was a definite need to talk more to her about this matter, about why she felt so, how and where was she brought up, whether she had any daughters herself, whether she was educated if yes what were her subjects and why exactly she felt what she said? The girls are glad that they got an apology and changed a point of view! But did they really change that point of view? Or did they merely get satisfied thinking they made someone apologize publically by making the matter viral!
What is true change? What do we expect when we say we want to change something? This episode is reminding me of a situation in a school. Suppose a child makes a grave mistake in school, what will you prefer if you were his teacher?   Spending some time with him and talking to him about it to understand what drove him to do what he did, so that you could discuss, and make him understand why he was wrong OR making him stand in front of the entire classroom and shout at him till he says “Sorry!” And in which situation do you my reader think, will the child understand you and change for good? I know you may argue saying that the auntyji was far more mature and grown-up who may not be comparable to a child, but when we want to bring about some change in the aged mentalities of the grownups then it can never be done until we know the why’s behind it.
The term viral is dangerous, both on the social media and inside our bodies, its dangerous because it spreads rapidly inside us and takes no time in infecting others as well. If healthy habits are needed to prevent the viruses from entering our bodies, then some logic and rational thinking are needed to prevent it from entering our brains!
This article can be highly controversial especially if you are a lady and you are too heated up by the incidence. But I am still posting it because I think we really need to think beyond the small videos and posts that we see on our screens and we really need to understand things in more depth if we truly want things to change in the long run!
I hope and wish that every lady be bold, safe and healthy!
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www.vanditasshelf.com

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