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Why so ‘Big’ and why so ‘Fat’ my dear Indian wedding?

The most expensive looking outfit’s for the bride and the groom, a huge space decorated with the best of flowers, both an indoor and outdoor arrangement, a theme to add to the décor, an additional arrangement of some musical entertainment, some of the most dazzling lights, a good residential accommodation for the guests! And of course, how can I forget the food with four to five varieties of main course cuisines, five to six varieties of desserts, and other delicacies. Well, that’s more or less what a typical Big, Fat India wedding constitutes of! And why? Because the neighbors had done it the same way? Because your relatives would think you don’t have enough savings? Or because you don’t want to break the trend and rather take it the way it has been since always!

The wedding season is at its peak and I am sure just like me even you must have attended many weddings in the past few days. In the weddings that I attended some did have a bigger space than the other and some did have an additional attraction like a western DJ or a troupe performing for the entertainment of the guests, but still they all were more or less the same, they had the same wastage of food and they had the same display of thousands of dead flowers.
I was wondering if the bride and the groom ever look back at super expensive designer 'lehengas' and 'shrewanis' that they wear for their wedding and I was wondering if the hosts of the wedding were alright with the wastage of so many things in so many forms. The answer to both is an unfortunate no! None of us want it this way but all of us are forced to do it the same. Why are we shy to take a bold step to do something better in the weddings in our houses when we know that we actually want to.
Wedding indeed is an occasion to celebrate but would it not work well if instead of having the endless cuisines we fix up a menu which serves well to our guests. Would it not work well if instead of wasting paper in the form of gaudy wedding invites we have the best of e-invites? Of course, everyone does have an e-invite nowadays, but it’s limited and most of the times added on by a paper invite as well, which has its poor fate in the trash bins on the same day or the next day of the wedding!
If I do my calculations and talk about the usual money that is spent on this day, then if a middle-class family can save it then they may have the luxury to invest it as a security in the right places, plan a lavish trip for their family which they may otherwise just dream of, or even put it in the right direction to start a small business which may benefit them in the long run. And if the same money is saved by the upper class then, of course, they can instead feed thousands of hungry mouths instead of just a few stomachs which are already full on just one day! In a time like today, we really need to think more logically about how well we use our resources and what better we can do.
Celebrate the togetherness, spread love within the families, make beautiful memories and rejoice for a new beginning, it surely doesn’t need to be ‘Big’ or ‘Fat’ for it to be the perfect Indian wedding! 

 Vandita Mishra
The article was published in Hindustan times Lucknow city edition on 27.2.18
email: vandita5jan@gmail.com

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